Saving Christmas
by ZombieJazz
Summary: Olivia takes her adopted son on a Christmas outing, giving her the opportunity to reflect on the season, the growth of her family and all the changes in her life in the past year. A short holiday story in the Olivia/Jack/Benji AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Saving Christmas**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Jack and Benji have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia takes her adopted son on a Christmas outing, giving her the opportunity to reflect on the season, the growth of her family and all the changes in her life in the past year. A short holiday story in the Olivia/Jack/Benji AU.**

**Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Most of the chapters will ultimately take place outside of the work environment, so there aren't going to be too many references to cases from the show. But this story would generally be starting in about Season 15 of the show. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

**WARNING: THIS STORY MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR READERS OF "WELCOME HOME". NOTHING HUGE OR UNEXPECTED BUT IT IS A FLASH FORWARD FROM WHERE THE STORY IS CURRENTLY AT. IF YOU ARE CONCERNED, YOU MIGHT JUST WANT TO WAIT UNTIL THAT STORY REACHES ITS CHRISTMAS CHAPTERS.**

Olivia juggled Benji on her hip, bouncing him a bit as she readjusted her tired arm under his butt and attempted to keep him from falling. She loved her one-on-one time with her Little Fox but there were certain times that having Jack or Brian with her was more than just an added bonus. And times where her little boy got clingy and nervous in a crowd and wanted to be held and carried was one of them. She liked cuddling with her son but keeping a hold of him while he was in his winter gear and squirming and grabbing at her neck and ramming his dirty boots and pointy knees into her was another thing.

Olivia was sure since having Benji in her life her upper body strength had improved ten-fold. She suspected it might even better than in her younger days when getting to the gym near daily after shift had been part of her routine. Toting around a little boy did that to you. And it wasn't like he was getting any smaller – even if he was still underweight and shorter than most boys his age. She was borderline getting to the point that she thought she should be telling him that he was too big for her to be holding him. But he was nervous and she was trying to calm him so he could enjoy the experience that he didn't even know was coming.

"There lots of people here to see the firetruck," Benji told her, giving her a squinty look.

She gave him a smile and rubbed at his back a bit. "There sure are, Benj," she agreed.

His eyes shifted back to the big red ladder truck that was parked in the middle of the cordoned off street. "He not even the real Heatwave and people come see," he said.

"Maybe it is the real Heatwave," Olivia suggested.

Benji shook his head hard and looked at her again. "Mommy, Heatwave live at firefighter Joe-in's fire station. He is number four three. Dat not Heatwave. Dat number one two," he said and pointed at the truck.

Olivia smiled more as she looked and spotted the ladder number he'd found all on his own accord. Her son could be so bright and observant about the things he wanted to be. But she supposed that was true of most people.

"Heatwave is Ladder forty-three," she corrected gently for him, "and this firetruck is ladder twelve."

"Yeah!" Benji said more loudly. "It tell-ve! It not Heatwave!" He squinted at the family standing next to them, eyeing the little girl who was also being held by her Daddy, more likely to be able to see through the growing crowd than for any reason similar to why Olivia was holding her little boy. "Dat not Heatwave!" Benji informed the girl. "You can go see Heatwave. He live near me. He better than dis firetruck."

The little girl gazed at him and then gripped her Daddy's neck tightly and made a small sound, looking away from Benji's serious face. The man glanced over at them and rubbed his daughter's back. Olivia gave him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry," she allowed. "He's excited about the firetruck."

"IT JUST A FIRETRUCK! IT NOT HEATWAVE!" Benji provided even more loudly, though now he was clinging to her with a similar intensity to the nervous little girl next to them.

The man just wordlessly nodded and looked away, talking quietly to his daughter and trying to distract her from the apparent freaks that they'd been relegated to in Benji's little outburst. Few things could compare to Heatwave. Olivia understood that. Most of the rest of the world did not. She was sure that most of the rest of the world didn't even know who or what Heatwave was. She was definitely learning with Benji in kindergarten now that not all little boys were quite as in love with Rescue Bots as he was. She wasn't even sure if they were on the list of popular TV characters. She'd instead started hearing about things like Skylanders, and Octonauts, and Ben 10, and Max Steel, and Spiderman, and Power Rangers. Most of them were things she'd never heard of. But some internet searching had allowed her to determine that she didn't think Rescue Bots, Transformers, Ninja Turtles and Thomas the Tank Engine were that awful after all.

Olivia rubbed at Benji's back too and tried to get him to calm a bit too. He was on a bit of an information overload between the people around them and the firetruck on display. Normally he'd likely decide for them that he'd had enough of the crowd and wanted to be on their way but the firetruck seemed to be holding him in place for the moment. Olivia glanced at her watch. It just needed to hold him a few more minutes and they'd get to the surprise that she'd brought him there for.

But apparently her military precision watch – or that of the fire department – was slightly behind (or ahead, if it was them) schedule. Suddenly there was a loud CRASHING sound blaring out of the loud speakers set up on the street.

Benji jerked upright against her and glanced around, squinted as he looked at the street.

"What dat sound, Mommy?" he asked.

She smiled and placed a light kiss against his cheek. "I don't know, sweetheart."

Benji gazed around him as the crowd began to murmur – other children asking the same as him. Wondering what the sudden crash and commotion was. But he didn't have to wait long for the answer.

A "Ho, ho, ho," came across the speakers, followed by, "Ooooh, no! My sleigh."

Benji gazed around him as he processed that and then looked at her with his mouth gaping and his eyes going big.

"What is it, Benj?" she asked innocently.

He blinked at her a couple times and then turned back toward the street, pushing himself up her body farther, his little heels digging into her as he clamored to try to get a better view. And, he got it.

Adults and children started pointing to the roof of the building directly in front of them, and Olivia jointed with the point too, extending her arm and guiding her little boy's eyes to the figure coming to the edge.

Benji gripped at her more. "Santa," he whispered in near shock.

Olivia smiled and against adjusted her arm around him, trying to help him sit a bit higher and positioning herself a bit more to try to get him a clear sightline, while glancing around to make sure they weren't blocking the view of any other little people or families.

The man in the bright red suit and big white beard came to the edge, holding his belly and chortling.

"Oh, dear, my sleigh seems to have taken a bit of a crash landing," came out of the loud speakers.

Benji's eyes shifted back to Olivia – growing bigger by the second. "Santa's slay-eh CRASHED?"

She rubbed at his back a bit. "That's what he said, Little Fox."

Benji looked back up to the roof. "Dat bad!" he said.

The Santa was out by the edge now, glancing around at the onlookers. "Oh, my, look at all these people," he said. "So many children and families!"

At that point sirens went off, the cherry-tops on the firetruck lighting up and wailing to the point that several of the smaller kids and babies let out cries. Others smacked their hands over their ears. But not Olivia's son – he gazed in even more admiration at the truck.

Several firefighters – in full gear – came running out of the Fire Museum and ran into the middle of the street, looking up at Santa too.

"Santa, be careful!" one of the firemen yelled through a bullhorn.

"YEAH! BE CAREFUL!" Benji yelled too, loud enough to attract some laughs and smiles from the other families near them. "YOU HIGH!"

"I think he's used to being high up, Benj," Olivia said. "He flies all around the world on Christmas Eve and is on tops of lots of apartment buildings and houses delivering presents."

"NOT WHEN HIS SAY-EH CRASHED, MOMMY!" Benji protested, his eyes staying fixed on the actor on the roof.

"Don't worry, Santa! We'll get you down!" the firemen called out and started scrambling toward the truck.

Benji looked at Olivia again with a slack jaw. "The firefighters rescue Santa?"

She nodded. "Looks like it."

Benji looked back to the scene as the ladder on the truck began to rise, a firefighter in the basket. Christmas music started to blare over the speakers while the fighters on the ground attempted to get the crowd involved in singing a round of "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." But Benji was far too transfixed to participate, though Olivia bounced him a bit in a sway to the music and sung along quietly into his ear.

He finally looked back at her as the ladder got to the top of the building and Santa go into the basket and it began its slow trek down while the Jolly Elf gazed gleefully to the crowd.

"Mommy, firemen have the bestest job ever," Benji told her dead seriously.

But a smile just pulled at her cheeks more until it hurt. "You think so?"

He nodded hard. "Mommy, they just save Santa. They save Christmas! It the bestest ever."

She hugged him tight. "I'm glad you think so, Little Fox."


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Saving Christmas**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Jack and Benji have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia takes her adopted son on a Christmas outing, giving her the opportunity to reflect on the season, the growth of her family and all the changes in her life in the past year. A short holiday story in the Olivia/Jack/Benji AU.**

**Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Most of the chapters will ultimately take place outside of the work environment, so there aren't going to be too many references to cases from the show. But this story would generally be starting in about Season 15 of the show. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

**WARNING: THIS STORY MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR READERS OF "WELCOME HOME". NOTHING HUGE OR UNEXPECTED BUT IT IS A FLASH FORWARD FROM WHERE THE STORY IS CURRENTLY AT. IF YOU ARE CONCERNED, YOU MIGHT JUST WANT TO WAIT UNTIL THAT STORY REACHES ITS CHRISTMAS CHAPTERS.**

Olivia gripped Benji's hand tightly and strained her neck trying to gauge the end of the seemingly endless line. Thankfully she seemed much more impatient about the queue than her son did. Benji seemed perfectly happy gazing at the displays of antique fire equipment and pumper trucks as they weaved through the Fire Museum on their way to the party room and their opportunity to meet Santa.

Olivia was sort of wondering how many tickets they sold to this thing. The email she'd gotten from the museum – because her and Benji had been in the place so many times they were pretty much on their membership list – had made it sound like it was a special event with limited tickets available. Based on the length of the line, she didn't think it was that exclusive. Though, based on the number of families that had been gathered outside to watch Santa's rescue, she was glad for the tickets. She didn't think many of the people without a pre-booked spot at the Christmas Café and Santa photo-op were going to get in during the three-hour period that Kris Kringle was scheduled to be in the building. She just hadn't really been envisioning having to stand in a line to even get to the event. She thought they were going to have three hours in the event – not that she thought they'd need that long. As it was, though, she thought it was more likely they were going to be handed their hot chocolate when they got into the 'café' and then be herded to stand and drink it in another line while they waited even longer to see Santa. It was like one of those hidden lines at a theme park – where you thought you were almost to the front only to discovery you hadn't reached the halfway point.

She supposed that it was good practice for if she got Benji into Macy's again for a holiday photo. She'd like to go again but she wasn't sure seeing two rather distinctly different Santas in a season would be the best course of action in maintain the magic and the mystery with her child. And, this Santa – though the event was definitely right up her son's alley – was definitely of far lower quality than the Santas in Macy's Santaland. But she couldn't really expect a volunteer at the non-profit 'museum' to have the realistic appearance or highly fabricated costume that were toted at the department store. She was almost hoping that Benji didn't notice or comment on the decreased authenticity of Santa's attire and beard here. That might not happen, though. Her little boy already had lots of questions.

"Mommy, why Santa slay-eh crash?" Benji asked her, looking up at her with big eyes.

She gave him a little shrug. "I don't know, Benj. He must've have some sort of sleigh malfunction."

"What kinda mal-funk-in?"

She gave him a smile and thought for a moment. "It was likely a problem with his reindeer," she suggested.

Benji thought about that for a moment. "Why didn't da firefighters rescue the ran-deer too?"

"Because they fly, Benj. They don't need rescuing. They can just fly down."

"But they didn't," her little boy said. "They still on the roof?"

Olivia smiled a bit more and shook her head. "No, Benj. I think the sleigh malfunction might've been a reindeer malfunction. I think they might've gotten away from Santa and sent his sleigh crashing."

"They just flew away and left him?" he gaped at her.

She shrugged. "Maybe they didn't realize what happened. They had to get back to the North Pole really fast," she tried.

She saw the mother in front of her giving her a glance at her son's line of questioning and her attempts to mitigate it before Benji stumbled onto the great truth about Santa. She thought that the woman might ask her to try to hush up her son before Benji ruined it for the two small children she had with her. Though, they looked too engrossed in their whine about the line to be hearing anything her and Benji were talking about. And, ultimately the woman get gave her a small smile before turning back to her own children.

"Without Santa?" Benji said with some disbelief.

"Well, it wasn't an accident, Benj," she said. "I'm sure they'll come back to get him. It's just a good thing he crashed where the firefighters could help him so quickly."

Benji nodded hard. "Becuz firefighters brave and da bestest."

She gave him a smile and swung his hand in hers a bit. "That's what you keep on telling me."

"It true, Mommy. It not a lie," he assured her.

"Oh, I know, Little Fox. I believe you," Olivia said.

Benji glanced around the exhibit room they were in again and let out a little sigh. "Da line very long to look at all the firetrucks," her son told her. "It go soooooo slowly!"

She let out a little snorted and smiled down at him. "Sweetheart, we're standing in line to go see Santa and make sure he's OK. They're just letting us look at the firetrucks while we wait."

"It hard to see," Benji told her.

She smiled a bit. "It's a little crowded," she allowed. "But we've been here lots before. And we'll be back another time. So you'll be able to look better then."

Benji squinted at her like that was not an appropriate answer. She didn't know how many times they could visit the Fire Museum but apparently they hadn't reached Benji's threshold to become bored with it yet. Sometimes she wondered if they ever would. She knew she missed they got a new exhibit more often because she thought she could only look at the antique trucks and equipment and participate in the fire safety exercises so many times. But at least it was an easy – and cheap – way to keep her son entertained for an afternoon when she couldn't stand dealing with his rambunctiousness anymore.

"Can we go play on firetruck after we see Santa?" Benji asked.

Olivia let out a little sigh at that. "We'll see, Benjamin. This is going to take a while and lots of kids are likely going to be wanting to sit in the firetruck. And we've got to go and meet Brian."

"Where Brian?"

"He's at work, sweetheart," she told him again for about the hundredth time that day.

Brian had already missed his hockey practice that morning and Benji's established expectation that the man would be at his Saturday morning sports had meant that there'd been a constant stream of questioning about where he was. Olivia was a little pissed off too. Tucker had dropped sending him on some U.C. task with barely enough time for Brian to call her and let her know. Thankfully it'd just been Friday night. But he'd spent all Saturday at the office dealing with interviews and paperwork in the fall out of the case. But it was his job. He took it seriously. She understood that – and she wanted him to keep taking it seriously. She knew he still hoped he'd get to move out of the IAB eventually – and he had to be a team player and play by the rules to make that happen. And, she really couldn't be upset with him. She ended up getting called in on enough evenings and weekends that she was in no position to offer up any sort of commentary. It was just growing tiresome to have her son constantly asking.

It wasn't helped that Jack was at work too. But that was a usual Saturday phenomenon that Benji only needed a handful of reminders and reassurances about. And, even if Jack had had the afternoon off Olivia highly doubted he would've subjected himself to this outing. Santa, lines, crowds and firetrucks – especially when combined with Benji – was not her teen's thing. Though, of course, when she'd texted him to say that Brian would be getting out of work around the end of his shift too, and wanted to take them out for dinner, Jack had been quick to respond.

"Where?" he'd asked.

"Shake Shack," she'd provided.

"I'll be there," had come back almost instantly. She knew it would. She wasn't sure where exactly Brian had wanted to eat – not likely Shake Shack – but she also knew the best way to guarantee their family would be together for dinner, and that was to offer up burgers to her oldest.

"Buy-in catching bad guys?" Benji asked – again.

She nodded. "Yep. He caught a bad guy last night and now he's doing all the boring police work that you don't care about."

"De-tech-ive work," Benji muttered. Mommy and Brian's jobs were boring unless it involved catching bad guys. She'd attempted to explain to him that their jobs involved a lot more than that. It resulted in him deciding that 'real police' have much better jobs than detectives. Detectives were boring. Some days she wished her job was mundane and boring. It might make for a better day and workweek – and a safe, more justice city and world.

Benji continued to gaze at the displays as they inched forward. He asked her to read a few of the panels to him at his favorite ones. She'd read them to him so often before that she could almost recite them by heart. She was probably starting to know the history of some of the apparatus in the museum better than some of the historians onsite.

"Mommy, why Santa here?" Benji asked suddenly.

"Because he crashed," she clarified again while looking at one of the dates on the plaques that seemed new to her.

"No why he here when it not Christmas? Why him flying him slay-eh?"

"Oh …" Olivia allowed and looked at him, trying to collect her thoughts to talk circles around that one. "Well … Santa has to come to the city each year so all the children can tell him what they'd like for Christmas. He must've been on the way when he crashed."

Benji nodded like that was an acceptable explanation. She thanked God for that.

"Mommy, maybe he crashed becuz we not wearing jammies," he suggested after a moment.

She squinted down at him, giving him a questioning look. "I don't know, Benj," she said. "I'm not sure that would make him crash."

"But without magic jammies maybe his magic not working right!" Benji protested.

"Oh …" Olivia let out as his memory of the previous Christmas' 'magic PJs' dawned on her. "I guess maybe that could've been it, Benj. You could ask him when you get to talk to him."

"Maybe we should go home and put on magic jammies to help Santa fix him slay-eh!" Benji near yelled.

Other people glanced at them in the line and Olivia gave him a thin smile and reached to smooth down her son's messy and static hair that she didn't think she was going to have tamed in time for his picture with Santa. At least not unless her excused herself from the line and took him to the bathroom to wet it down. But there was no way she was going to lose their place in line to do that. So instead she was starting to contemplate using the spit and polish technique. Or she'd just leave it and settle on dragging him into Macy's for a better photo another weekend. He clearly had a lot of questions about Santa anyways.

So she just nodded. "OK, Benj. I'll see if I can find your magic jammies when we get home. But they might not fit anymore. You've grown since last Christmas."

Benji gaped at her. "MAGIC JAMMIES NOT FIT!" he yelled at the top of his lungs and attracted even more attention to them.

Olivia put her finger to her lips and hushed him. "Benjamin, we are inside. You use an indoor voice."

He squinted at her for a moment, clearly unimpressed with her not understanding the gravity of the situation. "Mommy! How can Santa come if magic jammies not fit? Then the magic not work and Santa cannot come becuz we might see him and he can not come then!"

She smiled a bit and stroked at his cheek. Apparently she'd established a fairly believable story for Santa and how he worked in the eyes of her little boy. But it also seemed she'd a little inadvertently established a Christmas tradition. She wasn't too upset by that, though. It'd be one she'd be happy to keep for him.

"Then I guess after Santa gets settled into Santaland we'll have to go see him at Santaland so you can make sure Dandy brings you new magic jammies for this Christmas Eve," she told him.

"Dandy not here?" he gaped.

"I haven't seen her," Olivia provided. She doubted they'd seen 'Dandy' at Macy's again either but she'd just shrub the name off on some other seasonal employee.

Benji let out a big sigh. "Santa never going to be able to fix him slay-eh."

"I'm sure the reindeer and the elves are working on figuring out how to fix it in time for Christmas," Olivia assured. "And, Santa needs to be in the city anyway. Remember, he's here so all the kids can tell him what they'd like this Christmas."

Benji sighed again like the situation was mounting to awful levels at which he had no idea how they were going to resolve themselves before Christmas. Olivia was going to have to come up with some sort of narrative to calm him or else he was likely going to stew. The funny Santa rescue was starting to seem like it was getting a little confusing for him. She'd have to get Jack to do up some mock news story that she could print out and read to Benji about the sleigh being fixed and Santa getting to Santaland and Christmas going ahead as scheduled. Or hope that the volunteer Santa had some sort of prepared narrative to give to inquisitive little kids. Surely Benji couldn't be the only child in line a little concerned about the status of the sleigh and Christmas preparations.

"What do you think you're going to ask Santa for for Christmas?" Olivia asked trying to change topics.

He looked up at her. "Rescue Bots," he said completely matter-of-factly.

Olivia rubbed her eyebrow. "Of course …" she allowed. She knew that was what he was asking for. What else would he ask for. "Are there any Rescue Bots you don't have, Benj?"

Benji nodded. "But I ask Santa for Rescue Bot Dinobot," he told her excitedly. "TREX OPTIMUS!"

Olivia smiled. The latest season of Rescue Bots was a winner. They'd clearly caught onto the popularity of the Switch and Go Dinos and were trying to cash in on that too. Or not. Brian claimed the original Transformer series went prehistoric at one point too. Olivia offered no comment on that. The combination of alien robots from another planet that could transform into dinosaurs and time travel was just too ridiculous to reflect on.

"No Heatwave brontosaurus?"

Benji puckered at that. "Asking for two toys greedy," he told her.

She smiled at that and smoothed out his hair again. "You're such a good and unselfish boy, Little Fox," she told him and he huddled against her with the praise. "You want Optimus T-Rex more than Heatwave Brontosaurus?"

Benji nodded against her stomach as he cuddled into a loose hug. She nodded in agreement too, though she was a little surprised by that assertion. Though, she supposed that nothing could compared to Heatwave the Firetruck so why dilute that awesomeness with a dinosaur? Little boy logic?

"That sounds like a good present to ask Santa for," she provided. "But, Benj, maybe you should come up with an idea that isn't a Rescue Bot? Just in case Santa's Workshop isn't making Rescue Bots this year."

"Santa bring Rescue Bots at Christmas," Benji said.

Olivia nodded. She hoped that wasn't one of Benji's routine impositions. Santa brings Rescue Bots at Christmas. Who knows how many Christmases she'd be buying Rescue Bots and Transformers if that's what he related to the Jolly Elf.

"I know he did," she said, "and I know how much you love the Rescue Bots Santa brought you last year. But I think you should ask him for a back-up toy, just in case."

The truth was, she'd really like to get some diversity in his toy box. It was pretty Rescue Bot and Hot Wheels heavy. There had to be some way to fix it up a bit.

"Lego," Benji finally provided after a lengthy pause.

Olivia smiled and looked down at him, caressing at his arm while he continued to lean against her. "Lego? That's a really good idea, Benj."

He nodded. "Firetruck Lego," he clarified

She gazed at him at that. "You got firetruck Lego for your birthday."

He nodded again. "More firetruck Lego."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Ah … of course."

She was never going to escape the firefighter appeal. It just kept becoming clearer that this wasn't a phase he was going to outgrow any time soon. But at least it made gift picking easy.

Benji looked up at her with his puppy dog eyes. "It good," he told her, like he could almost hear her thoughts on the matter.

She gave him a more sincere smile. "It is good," she told him. "And you're a good boy. Good boys are on Santa's nice list."

"I good," Benji said.

She nodded. "You're my fantastic Little Fox. You're very good."


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Saving Christmas**

**Author: ZombieJazz**

**Fandom: Law & Order: SVU**

**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Law and Order SVU and its characters belong to Dick Wolf. The characters of Jack and Benji have been created and developed for the sake of this AU series.**

**Summary: Olivia takes her adopted son on a Christmas outing, giving her the opportunity to reflect on the season, the growth of her family and all the changes in her life in the past year. A short holiday story in the Olivia/Jack/Benji AU.**

**Author's Notes: This AU series is for SVU fans and readers who want Olivia to have something that resembles a more normal life outside of work and a family of her own - hopefully somewhat realistically within the canon of SVU. Most of the chapters will ultimately take place outside of the work environment, so there aren't going to be too many references to cases from the show. But this story would generally be starting in about Season 15 of the show. Please let me know what you think and if you distribute elsewhere.**

**WARNING: THIS STORY MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS FOR READERS OF "WELCOME HOME". NOTHING HUGE OR UNEXPECTED BUT IT IS A FLASH FORWARD FROM WHERE THE STORY IS CURRENTLY AT. IF YOU ARE CONCERNED, YOU MIGHT JUST WANT TO WAIT UNTIL THAT STORY REACHES ITS CHRISTMAS CHAPTERS.**

Olivia looked down at Benji where he was gripping tightly on her hand and near bouncing with anticipation. They were only two kids away from his turn to see Santa now and his eagerness was mounting. Whatever apprehension he'd had last year about meeting the Big Man in Red had clearly disappeared this year. If anything, they were still about two and a half weeks away from Christmas and the Christmas crazies were already setting in.

But Olivia thought part of that was her own doing. Things were less hectic in terms of fighting to keep Benji in her life and to be a family that December. She wasn't trying to figure out how to care for a little boy and how to manage a teenager who didn't know if he was willing to let her. She wasn't under a huge amount of stress and worry about her family and her boys and the state of her life and job. Things were calmer. Easier. She understood how to do the holidays better and she was better prepared to actually enjoy them. And, she'd been doing her best to let herself and her sons enjoy the lead up to Christmas.

She'd had Benji out to a holiday craft sessions every weekend since two weeks prior to Thanksgiving. She'd let the boys decorate a gingerbread house together – which had been a bit of an adventure and exercise in patience. She'd gotten Benji an advent calendar and had honored Jack's request that they have an advent wreath as well. They'd even been to church for advent – because apparently she was raising a child who was an Easter and Christmas Christian since that seemed to be all Jack needed to feel she was exposing him to religion. She had the Christmas books and the plush nativity that Jack had brought over the year before for his little brother to inherit pulled out and had been reading them to her son. They'd already started in on watching the Christmas movies and tuning into the holiday specials on TV. She'd booked tickets to a concert for the weekend of Jack's birthday. And, she'd even managed to start her Christmas shopping too. They just needed to get the tree up – which was on the following weekend's list of planned activities while Jack took a break from studying for exams.

It all just felt a bit easier – so much calmer – than the previous year. She wasn't as flustered or worried or procrastinating. She knew her boys better to know what they wanted and needed when it came to picking out gifts. She knew how much she needed and didn't need to fill a stocking – and didn't feel nearly as badly about stuffing that thing with practicalities and necessities as she might've the previous year. She understood her budget and how to stretch it. And, it was all coupled with Jack having been so much calmer too.

Jack had been a bit of a time bomb the previous year. She'd felt like she was walking on eggshells with him. She was still struggling so much to get him to let her be close to him and to know him very well that Christmas. But she knew and understood her son now.

And, he'd relaxed so much since his adoption had gone through. That weight that had been on the whole family in the months between Benji's adoption and the battle to finalize Jack's had been lifted. The bruiting, angry, insecure and emotionally volatile young man she'd had to endure for those months in the fall had faded away and she had the young man she'd come to know – her son, who she loved – back. Maybe even better and more mature than before. And for all the nervous roadblocks he'd put up the previous holidays, he'd been putting a great deal of effort into being part of the family that Christmas. He'd been so well behaved and polite at Thanksgiving and since then his attitude just seemed to be growing. He was into the holiday spirit and there was a clear desire in him to spend time with his family and to share time with his brother. For them to all work at developing little traditions and memories. He'd been making the time around his final assignments and his final exams and his work schedule – and, that meant a lot to Olivia.

Jack had even been being fairly open about sharing Benji time and family time with Brian. Though, he still clearly wanted some one-on-one time with his little nephew and with her – there hadn't been comments or stand-off-ish-ness when Brian had appeared at the apartment or joined them for some activities. And, that was good because Brian was clearly looking forward to Christmas too.

She supposed that shouldn't surprise her too much. After all, Brian had crashed their Christmas the previous year. And, she'd seen in him his interest in helping with Benji's birthday party. That he cared about her son and that he wanted to be involved. But he'd already had several questions about what her Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were going to look like. What extent he was going to be allowed to be around. What he was allowed to buy the boys and how much he was allowed to spend. If she had any limits or bans. And – it'd been both boys, not just Benji. He'd even asked about Jack's birthday and what to do for a gift or how far away he should stay that day.

There was some clear underlying excitement in him. For as excited as Brian ever got about anything. It was muted. But she knew what to look for. The fact he was asking about any of it was enough of a clue that he was excited. But she could understand that. She'd been excited last year too to have her first Christmas with a family and with children in her life. To get to experience that kind of Christmas for the first time. To watch the boys and see the holidays through their faces and joy – especially Benji. Though, Jack was very excitable and appreciative in his own way too.

Olivia knew that even if Brian still had his mom, he'd still had somewhat lonely Christmases for a long-time. Christmases are only so interesting when you're a single adult. It's not exactly magically. Mostly it's lonely and a day of sad reflection on the state of your life. It sounded like Brian usually got a few hours of distraction Christmas Day while he visited and checked in on his mother – but it also sounded like she usually had her own plans with other single or widowed ladies that she attended and Brian was left to his own resources. He'd had a few Christmases undercover and spent them in ways she'd prefer not to think about. It sounded like other Christmases in his adult life he'd spent at a bar – or much like her, volunteering to take on the holiday shifts so others could have the time with their families.

He was happy to have a reason not to be working. To get a real Christmas. Even if that's not exactly how he was expressing it.

Though, him asking if they were going to take Benji to the Detectives' Association children's holiday party had been the clear indication that he was diving into the season as much as she'd allow him. She hadn't really been planning on taking Benji to the kids' party. He only enjoyed those sort of environments to much and she figured he'd get his little party at the daycare's after-school program. She thought that would be enough. But Brian had indicated that he'd heard the kids' holiday party was way better than the one for the actual detectives.

She'd laughed at him at that. She wasn't sure what he was measuring that against. He clearly hadn't been to enough children's parties to know what to expect – but she thought she'd attended enough kids' birthdays at that point to have a pretty good idea what the event would look like. She'd reminded him that it would have no alcohol, children's holiday music, God knows how many kids, and the kind of food that only kids would eat. Not her definition of 'better' by any means – not that she'd bothered to attend the Detectives' Association year-end function for years either. But she comparison had prompted Cassidy to ask if they were going to go to it, if they weren't going to the kids' party. She'd groaned even more at that. Going to either hadn't sounded to appealing. She'd rather him take her out to dinner somewhere nice – and private – than having to endure an imposed social event with other cops. But she'd gotten the impression that Brian probably wasn't going to settle at them skipping out on both. And, she sort of thought the kids' party might be the lesser of the evils. People would be distracted with their kids. There'd be less of the macho-ism, Blue Line crap, and showmanship at it. Or so she hoped.

As for if Benji would actually like the kids' party? Well, if their afternoon waiting for Santa in the museum was any indication, it'd likely be a win.

After they'd finally gotten through the line and into the party room, they were definitely prepared for the kids. There was a live band playing and singing Christmas carols for the kids. Not to mention tables serving hot dogs, hot chocolate and sugar cookies to decorate. Olivia thought it was a bit of a strange combination of food but Benji certainly hadn't thought so. He'd been happy to chow down – and to dump about as many sprinkles as possible onto his cookie. And hers too. To the point that he'd gotten it too because it was basically inedible by her standards by the time he was done decorating it for her.

Benji had also been perfectly happy to do the crafts and coloring they had set out for the kids as they awaited their turn to be queued into the next room to see Santa. Benji hadn't seemed disturbed at all by the number of kids and families there or all the activity around him. He'd been perfectly happy to focus on the food and the activities and to interact with her. She thought that showed so much growth in her little boy. Those were the kind of things that she wouldn't have been able to expect out of him a year ago – and maybe she still sold him a little short on now.

Benji had been given a little plastic red fireman's hat when they got into the final line to see Santa. He'd informed the volunteer that he already had one since he was a junior fire chief but he'd still happily accepted it and was wearing it. Add it to the reasons that Olivia would likely need to drag him elsewhere to see Santa again or get holiday photos professionally done – there was no way he'd be taking the hat off for his picture with Santa. Though, she supposed it was better than him wearing his Heatwave mask from Halloween, which she had trouble prying off him most days. He'd wear it to bed if he had his way. And, really, Benji in a fireman's hat sitting on Santa's knee likely wouldn't be a bad shot to have of his childhood. It was fairly appropriate actually.

But the real revelation was that he'd accepted the hat without hesitating about if he was allowed to take a 'gift'. There weren't the nervousness or the cowering. Beyond that he'd even already spotted that kids were getting given a candy cane and a little loot bag as they finished their visit with Santa and he was already giddy about that. These were more than baby steps for Benji. It was a whole new little boy. It was a relief for Olivia. It was gift unto itself.

"You can go see Santa now," the volunteer at the front of the line told them as the little boy ahead of them vacated the man's knee.

Benji smiled up at her and dropped her hand without a moment's hesitation. It made her smile too.

"Remember to say 'please' and 'thank you'," Olivia reminded him gently as he skipped over to the costumed man.

Her son glanced at her. "I say 'Merry Ciss-miss' too," Benji informed her.

She smiled. "Good boy," she said.

Olivia was pretty sure it was going to be a Merry Christmas – no matter what Santa brought that year. She was pretty sure the year had already brought more gifts than she could count or measure. She had high hopes for the next one too. A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. The kind she'd been waiting a lifetime for.

**THAT'S IT FOR THIS ONE.**

**I MIGHT POST A CHRISTMAS CHAPTER FROM THE 'WELCOME HOME' STORY. IT WOULD BE POSTED SEPARATELY BUT WOULD BE A CHAPTER THAT WOULD EVENTUALLY BE ADDED TO THE 'WELCOME HOME' STORY IN THE FUTURE. IF THAT'S SOMETHING PEOPLE WOULD WANT — COMMENT OR SEND A PM. IF YOU'D JUST PREFER TO WAIT UNTIL 'WELCOME HOME' GETS TO THAT POINT — LET ME KNOW TOO.**


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